The truck that Peter Bilt

No sleep at all.
Not even the smallest wink.

Before long, I will have been up over 24 hours and will still have the full day of Mom's surgery and dealing with my father ahead of me.

Forget the bus — I feel like I've been hit by a truck. 

We were on target for leaving the house around 11:00 am this morning for arrival at the appointed time of 11:30 am at the hospital. Then, we received a surprised phone call from the surgeon's office at 9:15 this morning, asking us to be there at 10:30 am instead. My mother was still in bed, resting, and had not even brushed her teeth or showered or dressed. I had showered and washed my hair, but was still in my nightgown, hair in curlers, and no makeup. My father, of course, was ready to leave in five minutes and kept nagging at my mother and me to hurry up.

Having had no sleep at all and growing weary of my father's impatient attitude, blatant implications that Mom and I were taking too long, and that we were not trying to be accomodating to the surgeon's last-minute request, I blew up at him. I yelled at my father at the top of my lungs — as I have never done before — that he was being childish and unreasonable, that certain things had to be done before we could leave, and that we still had plenty of time before we had to leave to still be there at 10:30 am. I was so angry with him that my hands began to shake in rage and I was unable to do the simplest of tasks with my hands until I took a few minutes to calm down. I don't think I have ever been so upset at my father and his goddamned attitude that every fucking thing in the outside world is more imporant than his own family and their sanity. Mom was so upset by his attitude that she threw up in the car on the way to the hospital. What a fine send-off my father gave to her for her surgery. goddammit.

We pull into the hospital's parking lot at 10:05 am, check in at the surgical desk at 10:15 am, and then are told that something delayed the surgeon and he would be late. So, here it is 12:15 pm and we are still sitting here waiting for her to be taken back to the surgical holding area. Fuck.



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