Ancestors

With the stark reminder yesterday that Uncle Leonard died from Colorectal Cancer, I tried to remember how my other aunts/uncles had passed.  Some of the details I remembered, and my parents filled-in the remainder.

______________________________


~MOM's SIDE OF FAMILY~
Papa          : prostate cancer
Mama          : stroke
Uncle Leonard : colon cancer
Aunt Carrie   : stroke
Uncle Fred    : heart attack
Uncle Robert  : ruptured appendix, died about age 12
Uncle Hugh    : lung cancer
Aunt Mary     :
Uncle Elbert  : still living
Uncle Orvil   : still living
Mom           : still living
Uncle Remer   : still living


~DAD's SIDE OF FAMILY~
Papa            :
Mama            :
Uncle Jim       : automobile accident
Uncle Amos      : ballooning of blood vessels in brain
Uncle Chester   : stroke and heart attack, combined
Aunt Machie     : heart failure; high cholesterol
Aunt Inez       : heart trouble
Aunt Gladys     : blood clot, complication from wreck
Uncle Ray       : cancer
Uncle John      : lung failure
Aunt Mamie Bell : autobile accident in Guatamala
Dad             : still living
Uncle Brady     : still living
Aunt Effie      : still living




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Not seeing red

My mother has always battled several health problems, as far back as I can remember. In recent years, though, age has taken its toll and she has suffered more than what seems her fair share. She suffers from Lupus (Systemic Lupus Erythematosus), Sjögren's Syndrome, fibromyalgia, and a weak back, as well as osteo-arthritis and all the other common aches-and-pains that comes with increasing age.

Sjögren's Syndrome affects (among other things) the connective tissues in the body and can cause tiredness, so we didn't think too much about it when she became more tired than usual recently. She has also been complaining of chronic and acute indigestion/heartburn every single day, has experienced some dizziness (particularly when rising from sitting or lying down), difficulty sleeping (even with pain meds), and some mental confusion/forgetfulness. After presenting this list of symptoms to her Internist (Chang) today, he immediately suspected a "bleeding ulcer" and anemia to be the cause. After questioning her about the presence of any black stools lately and hearing her positive answer, he ordered an immediate test of her hemoglobin. A nurse came in and drew a vial of blood from Mom's fingertip and the doctor reappeared a few minutes later with the confirmation of an
anemic condition. Based on the test result, my mother's pale skintone and pinkish mucous membranes rather than the customary red color, he decided to admit her immediately to the hospital.

So, my father and I drove her over to the hospital and reported to the nurse's station on the second floor, per the doctor's orders. Nurses and doctors came in before long to get my mother settled and ask her additional questions so they could tend to her care. My father and I stayed with her for a while, then ran some errands, then returned to the hospital for another visit before going back home. He and I both called Mom later that night, and I spent quite a bit of time on the phone with my husband, brother, and boss, telling the story of what happened and making plans for my staying longer than originally expected this visit.



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So tired today

...even after 15 hours of sleep. Gah. Was only up for four or five hours and laid back down for an hour's nap.

Spending so much time again with my parents has made me realize something...

Dad dwells on things that need to be fixed.
Mom dwells on things that can't be fixed.





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Table Rock

Worked the "graveyard shift" at work last night, came home, got a bite to eat, setup some stuff on the laptop, packed again, and drove back to South Carolina. This time, I came a slightly different route during the last leg of the trip that took me through some slightly more scenic countryside and only a couple of miles out of the way. By the time I get to bed this evening, I will have been up about 25½ hours. Sheesh. I just hope they let me sleep-in tomorrow to make up for it.



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Normality

Back to Kingsport to work Friday and Saturday nights and see my husband! Yay! I've missed him so much! I am also getting some fresh clothes and snagging some online time, too. Don said I could take his laptop back with me! I won't have an Internet connection, but at least I can write-up some of the blogs that have accumulated in my calendar/journal book that I carry in my purse, listen to music, and some other things!

After returning to what is my "normal" life, it is even more apparent how chaotic life is right now in my parents' household. Kinda makes me dread going back and leaving the normality behind again. Such is life sometimes.



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Making Plans

My brother and I had hoped to have "The Talk" with our parents yesterday about their ability to continue living alone in the long-term with both of them having chronic health concerns and advancing age. Both of them were too tired yesterday to have a serious discussion, so I took an extra day off work so we could do it today. The talk went well — better than expected — and our suggestions are being considered. During the coming months, we will explore the options available and come to a mutual decision and plans will be made.



© 2008 Sapphire Words @ Blogspot.com

Out of sync

It is amazing how out-of-sync my eating habits and eating preferences have become with the rest of my family's. Except for the low-fat cheese and skim milk in the fridge, much of the other food is sugared, processed, or fat-laden.

A couple of years ago, I was diagnosed with high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and was overweight. My doctor and a registered dietician talked to me about how to solve these problems. By following their advice, I dropped almost 50 pounds of excess weight, lowered my cholesterol to an acceptable level, and brought my blood pressure down out of the risky zone.

Yet, despite my positive experiences with the advice given to me by medical professionals, my brother challenged my eating habits and told me outright that I am mistaken about the healthy way to eat. He seems to think — for whatever reason that I cannot fathom — that I simply "misinterpreted" what I was told, even though I took copious notes which match my later research with other experts in the field. I also have a witness who accompanied me to the appointment who can corroborate what was said. If my brother knows so blasted much, why is his cholesterol now high while mine is under control? I also don't see a "Registered Dietician" or "Medical Doctor" degree hanging on his wall.

I don't second-guess his credibility in areas where he has received professional advice or conquered hardships, so why should he do that to me...?!?!?



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Staggering

My brother and I appear to make a good team working together (something we haven't really done since childhood). He has been jumping into the big stuff that involves a lot of muscle and strength, and I have been doing some of the "detail orientied" organizational tasks as well as the mundane work to keep the household running — cooking meals, washing dishes, doing the laundry, and so forth.

There is so much work to do at my parents' house that it is staggering, even after all that has already been done — house cleaning, clearing clutter, backload of laundry, yard work, repairs, and so forth.

I can't help but wonder if this same thing is going to happen to me, that once-easy household chores begin to pile up before I realize that I can't continue handling it on my own. My husband says it happened in his family, and others have reported the same in their families. That thought makes "getting older" suck even more than it already did.



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Family

It is, indeed, fReAkY wEiRd having father, mother, son, and daughter together again under one roof. It is also weird to be 53 years old and in the habit of turning out unused lights at my own house, but to still be reminded before being given a chance to demonostrate my proficiency in remembering to douse the lights on my own. I guess some things never change.

I also noticed something else strange... The basic dynamic between my brother and me is exactly like the basic dynamic between my mother and my father. I never caught that similarity while growing up, but it is very obvious currently, and in retrospect. It must have something to do with gender versus family genetics, or the way we were raised in the Deep South. Still, it seems very odd to me.



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Roadkill

After working the "graveyard shift" last night, I came home, got a bite to eat, and packed my things in order to head back to my parents' house.  When that was finished, I had been up about 16 hours, was very tired, and thought it best to get a nap before the three-hour drive.  So, I curled up with my teddy bear at my usual bedtime, but was only planning to snooze for an hour or two.

I must have been more tired than I thought, because I slept a full five hours before waking.  Of course, I normally would be sleeping eight or nine hours at that time of day — not a mere five — to get ready for work again that night.  I was stumbling around the house, groggy as could be, trying desperately to shake the sleep-cobwebs out of my head, feeling quite a bit like roadkill must feel, and frustrated because I had slept so long but was still obviously needing much more sleep than I had received.  I was almost in a panic until my husband calmed me down, something he is very good at doing.  He made me stop, take a breath, and realize that the world was not going to end because I had needed sleep after working all night and having been up 16 hours.

A quick check of my cell phone showed that there was a message from my brother, informing me that he had already arrived at Mom & Dad's, and wondering when I would be there.  At my husband's bidding, I decided that since my brother was there to keep an eye on our parents for the evening and make sure they were okay, I would stay home to get my much-needed sleep, flip over from graveyard-shift schedule to a daytime-schedule, and join him down there tomorrow.



© 2008 Sapphire Words @ Blogspot.com

Discharged!

My Dad has been making improvements to his strength and mobility at the nursing home over the past few weeks and it was decided that he could be discharged on July 23rd to return home.

However, being super-anxious to return home and to some semblance of a normal life, he hounded the nursing home staff so much that they released him a few days early.  I was surprised when I learned that he was being discharged yesterday.  This caught my brother and me off-guard and neither of us were able to scramble plans fast-enough to be there before he was transported home.  My brother traveled there this afternoon, and I am packing my bags to go down there in the morning.

It might be cool in a freaky sort of way to have father, mother, brother, and sister together again under the same roof, but I'm not really looking forward to the trip.  Not only will I be far away from my wonderful husband for several days, but I will also be dealing with "geekette withdrawal" without a computer, sharing one bathroom with three other adults, sharing a kitchen with three other adults with vastly different eating habits than my own, plenty of hard work to accomplish, dealing with various issues concerning my parents' continued ability to live by themselves as they get older, and so forth.

As it stands now, I plan to be there until Wednesday of this coming week (the 23rd), then return to Kingsport to go back to work over the weekend. Over the course of the next few weeks, I will go back down there for a few days at the beginning of each week and my brother will go back towards the end of each week.  That way, my parents will have one of us there most of the time to help out with things, which my brother and I both agree is prudent at this point.

So, if you notice that I am not online for a few days each week or fail to get a speedy response to an email, you will know what is happening!  I will still be reachable via cell phone, SMS, MMS, PDQ, and so forth.



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Over the cliff

One of my favorite movies — "Thelma and Louise" — was on last night.  I love that movie!

Once upon a time, I would not have really understood it.  It can only be fully understood by someone who has really lived, by someone who has walked through the fire and survived it, by someone who has lost their innocence for the exchange of maturity.

And speaking of "maturity," many people have a misconception about what "maturity" is.  Maturity is not being "grown up" and knowing how to deal with Life.  Maturity is gained only by having Life deal with you, by having everything in which you believe and everything which you hold dear ripped from you so you are standing, naked, at the edge of The Abyss.  Only then can you claim "maturity."  Only then does "Thelma and Louise" fully make sense.



© 2008 Sapphire Words @ Blogspot.com

est.a.mermaid.os.

quest.
sea.quest.
sea.quester.
non.sea.quest.er.
dont.follow.me.
into.the.sea.







© 2008 Sapphire Words @ Blogspot.com

Bugs

...several things to catch up on...

The antibiotic I was on last week (Amoxicillin 500mg 2 tabs t.i.d. x 10 d.) seemed to knock-out the sinus infection I had, and I felt great there for three or four days after I took the last dose.  Then I began to feel as if I were having a relapse — watery discharge from eyes, sore throat, body aches returning, and so forth. Yuk! The same thing happened to my husband and his doctor said that a second-run of antibiotics was in order for him.  So, I went back to my doctor and was given a second run of antibiotics, too (Amoxicillin/Clavulanic Acid 875mg-125mg 1 tab b.i.d. x 10 d.).  Hopefully this "bug" will be dead before long and won't bother me any more.

The nursing home tried calling Mom & Dad's house this morning a little after 6:00am but there was no answer, so, they called me instead.  (My mother and brother were probably still asleep and didn't hear the phone.)  The nurse reported that my father had vomited this morning and they had given him some Phenagrin^® to help with the nausea.  She said that a couple of other residents had thrown-up in the middle of the night, too, and they suspected that a "bug" was going around there as well.  She said they were required to call whenever something like that happened, though, and I am glad she did!

My brother was able to get some time-off work and traveled from his home in Texas to my parents' house this past weekend.  He is planning to stay for a week or so, and might even go back for another week later in the month.  He is visiting my Dad in the nursing home and helping Mom with a backlog of chores that have accumulated.  Bless his heart!  With Dad in the hospital when I was down there recently, Mom and I didn't have much time (or emotional energy) leftover for housework.  I did what I could to help out, though.

My brother and I had a long conversation last night about my parents.  Things that he is seeing/hearing this week, coupled with some things that I saw/heard when I was there, leads us to believe that we need to start keeping a much closer eye on Mom and Dad.  Sadly, they are getting to the point — given their age plus their current states of health — that even some of the simplest of household chores are becoming monumental for them.  We're thinking of contracting someone to come in and do some routine cleaning once per week (mopping floors, dusting furniture, etc.) to make things easier for them.  He and I plan to start checking on them a bit more intensively than we have been doing.

Getting old is The Sucketh!



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